iPad....FIGHT!!!

So the twitterverse and the multiblog has been set alight this week, over one of the most dull stories that people could get excited about, a conversation of such importance, that when the history books are written about the early part of the 21st Century, it will be perhaps only second in how fundamental it seemed to our lives in terms of worldwide discourse. After Lady Gaga - Him or Her?

The iPad.

Almost a week ago, a man in a sweater and glasses sat down to show us his company's latest invention. That he sat down at all was noteworthy - several blogs who were covering the story live made a MASSIVE deal over the fact that this announcement was being made with a CHAIR on stage - such is the way we have absorbed the symbols and meanings of press announcements, but it was in fact the product which generated more heat than any of his company's earlier products. Seriously, I'm typing this on a MacBook Pro and I can feel the considerable heat on my lap even through the Belkin cooling mat I have.

I suppose the oddest thing is the level of interest this thing has generated. I guess if nothing else, it's a sign of the times that a corporate press conference has been one of the most talked-about stories of the year so far. While Twitter may not be the greatest count of things that are popular or unpopular, it serves as a vague gauge, and right now, around five days after the man in the sweater stood up(Then sat down again) in the Yerba Buena Center For The Arts, the iPad registers as the fifth most-mentioned topic on Twitter. It would have been the top, but it's Grammys night in America, so Beyonce, Elton John, the aforementioned Lad/Lady Gaga and the awards they are at feature above the new device. By comparison, the suffering, devastation and chaos in Haiti is ninth in the top ten. Having said that, this is the "Worldwide" category; In the UK the iPad doesn't place, except for in the "London" category, where it places sixth. I guess the oddest thing is that the UK and London lists currently have WWE and the Royal Rumble pay-per-view event in them.

I'm not having a go at people for caring more about a big iPod than other people dying or being in pain, there are many reasons why that happens. Such as feeling sympathy can hurt.

But either way, I guess it's an indication of people's priorities today - that a business announcement of a new product is such big news, in the same way that "bank bonuses", "Wall Street" and "Goldman Sachs" have been previous trending topics. They probably would be again, if it weren't for the American version of the Brit awards and Apple's new thing being in the news.

Apple itself is a funny old beast, in terms of perception. I read several technology-related blogs every day, such as Gizmodo, its Gawker network sibling Kotaku, Engadget, Ars Technica and the tech sections of places like BBC News and the Huffington Post. With the exception of the BBC website, all stories on the other sites have allowed all to come and comment, and comment they have, just like on Twitter. The majority of comments could best be described as acerbic. They lean either one way or the other - love or hate. The ones who express love, are fanboys and apologists in the eyes of the rest, and the ones who express hate are trolls and Windows fanboys in the eyes of the rest. One insulted at their time being taken up by a product they hate for not being so awesome as to be undeniably great, and hot under the collar at the lofty terms used by Steve Jobs to announce it. Which is a little weird bearing in mind the way Steve Jobs and any other CEO sells their product is that he does it in person. It's not really like any other product doesn't have delightful, glowing terms used at the point of announcement to convince the masses that this product will make their lives better, or that nobody else bends the truth to tell the public about how awesome their product is.

Those seen as Apple fanboys and apologists for Apple, are really just as myopic. Just like anything else, there are those that will find a use for the iPad, and those that won't. I have no idea whether it'll replace the iPhone or iPod Touch(Which are the same thing, just with or without a cellular phone put inside it), but it probably won't. I have no idea whether it will subvert the netbook market, and replace the 10-inch variety of laptop as the most popular form of computing in a courier bag. It probably won't, but there are things that the iPad does that most netbooks don't, or at least don't do quite so seamlessly.

The biggest analogy for the manner of publicity the iPad, and all modern Apple product announcements, is that in terms of the view of each other, Apple Fanboys are to Apple Haters(Or Microsoft Fanbots, etc - the term is less important), as in America, Democrats are to Republicans. I'm not trying to suggest that one is better than the other, but such is the level of attention paid, and the amount of press focused on every detail and rumour, that often the case is that many people will oppose certain legislation, regardless of it's benefit - either societal or individual - that many seem prepared to stand up ready to hate it, or love it, based on the name on it.

And the same goes for Apple.

I admit, I use an Apple computer, and I've used iPods since the first model. I've never really had a problem except for a couple of logic board burnouts, and the fact that I once threw this computer clear across a room. But I used Windows before, and the iPod was by no means my first MP3 - I came from DOS, 3.11 for Workgroups, a Rio MP3 player the size and weight just under a pack of cards, and the Creative NOMAD, a behemoth of an MP3 player that used an internal hard drive and lacked a battery life. It's never been that I think Apple are flawless, and depending on what someone needs their computer to do, I've recommended a Mac and a Windows machine. Similarly, if you want to use iTunes, you need an iPod/iPhone and vice versa, but beyond that there's no reason why another media player wouldn't work fine. I've done my bit to help people with their computers when asked - regardless of whose brand is on it - and I've built several Windows PC's from scratch.

It's an odd sort of thing though. When I've expressed my preference for Apple to friends, peers and sometimes family, all of a sudden I'm someone else to them. I become a religious zealot of sorts, a man who fell on hard times and fell in with a dodgy crowd and now preaches the word of some bonkers faith(Apple-Krishna?) to non-believers before reading sacred texts(MacRumors.com) in a tabernacle(Living room) in between proselytizing. I guess at some point, it became trendy in a sort of counter-culture way to scoff at people who like Apple products, mainly because the prevailing voice of the media is that "Apple is good", which raises the hairs on the back of some necks, just like religious zealotry does to me.

Apart from needing repairs relating to a circa 2008 crash landing, I don't know if I have a problem with my Mac, other than it being a little old and under-spec for some stuff. Similarly though, I don't really have a problem with my netbook, a recent acquisition that runs Windows 7 on a small screen. Both work fine, and I'm happy with that - one works faster and handles more stuff, the other runs cooler and I can carry without being able to spot which shoulder my bag was hanging from purely by glancing at my naked shoulder. I just want something that works, and that was why I bought a Mac, and continue to. My needs are fairly narrow I guess, and whatever doesn't work on my Mac I can find a replacement for, or in the case of games, I can use something else - a games console for example. My one real gripe about the Windows 7 OS I now use alongside Mac OS X(Apart from the LUDICROUS Win7 Starter version I got), is drivers. Because only one manufacturer makes Macs, I can use the "Software Update" tool to deliver pretty much all the drivers I need for both the operating system and the computer itself, while with my Netbook, I needed to first install the drivers from a CD, then run Windows 7's updates program before moving on to find the latest drivers online for specific parts of the netbook, and all of this was before dealing with individual software. It's a bit of a mess, but I admit not a major one. So far, I'm reasonably content with it.

My own take on the iPad, which is as meaningless as anyone elses, for as long as we all remain without an iPad in our hands to try it, is that I agree with several people I've read, who have suggested this may be a popular purchase for older users. Yeah, it's a big iPod Touch(Not a big iPhone, because it has no capacity for vocie calls or text messages on a cellular network), but it's a big iPod Touch that was announced as something to rest on your lap, and to use for watching tv shows or movies, reading books, composing spreadsheets and office documents and using the internet. Add all of that together and you've got a wireless internet tablet with both WiFi and 3G access, a screen big enough for anyone to read and manipulate even with chubby or inflexible fingers, and a software list that features office work and reading books. Not that it won't also run the "Pull My Finger" app, or the competing "iFart" app, or anything else that reeks of simple-mindedness, it will, and people can use that. But I think it will appeal to people who like the iPhone but need a bigger screen, and people who like the idea of the Amazon Kindle, but think it lacks versatility or a backlit screen.

I've considered it myself, and I don't think I'm that interested in it. I certainly don't hate it, but it doesn't suit my needs just now. Having said that, my two-laptop situation could easily change to a compact desktop computer for donkey work and things that need processing power(But one that also doesn't cost the earth) such as a specced-out Mac Mini(So I can save space when I'm not using it, but run either OS X or Windows should I feel like it), my current netbook for portability, and yes an iPad. I'm going to need convincing proof of certain applications for it first though. If you've ever seen my Twitter feed or my Twitpic page, you might have seen the drawings I've sketched out over the last few months. Most of the recent ones were done on an older model iPod Touch that came back into my possession recently, and if the apps I use on the iPod end up performing just as well if not better on the iPad, then the larger canvas on the iPad would be something that would put an end to one of the banes of my life - an ever growing stock of used paper sketchbooks.

Having said all that, if someone other than Apple can get me something similar that runs a simple but sophisticated drawing app like Autodesk Sketchbook on the iPod Touch/iPhone, or Scribbles on the Mac, then I'm there. I just want something that works.

Which is oddly enough the same term that a long-term fan of Apple-bashing used when he announced earlier today, that he was relenting, and getting himself a Mac.

Welcome Charlie Brooker, you are home. Press any key to continue.

By the way, the Grammys are still going. The iPad is now 4th in Twitter's "Trending Topics". A few rungs down is the name of comedy tv presenter Stephen Colbert. Because he was begging Apple for an iPad on his show all last week, and he is now showing it off while onstage at the Grammys.